|
[Friday
August 16th, 2019 at 10:50pm] |
I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive
So I'm going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and I
When this memory fades
I'm gonna make sure it's replaced
With chances taken
Hope embraced ( ... )
|
|
|
| ooc: pregnancy ticker |
[Friday
May 4th, 2012 at 4:40am] |
|
|
|
| Thursday October 3rd; 10am EST (ATL) |
[Thursday
November 3rd, 2011 at 10:25am] |
I'm so glad the morning sickness has finally subsided. I don't remember being so sick with Evan, but it's possible I just forgot how bad it was. It's definitely not my favorite part of being pregnant. At the moment, though, I feel perfectly fine aside from a slightly stuffy nose which the doctor assured me was perfectly normal when I called.
We have several more weeks before we'll be able to find out whether we're having a boy or girl. I'm definitely looking forward to that. I'm on the fence about whether or not to have an amnio. My doctor says it's completely up to us. On the one hand, I'd like to know everything is okay, but I also don't want to risk the baby.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm exhausted. Evan is at school, so I think I may try and talk my husband into a mid-morning nap.
|
|
|
| Saturday September 10th; 6pm EST |
[Saturday
September 10th, 2011 at 6:06pm] |
Private to Friends and FamilySome of you have already been informed privately, but.. Brad and I are expecting our second child. We've been trying for awhile now and I'm absolutely thrilled. I'm hoping for a little girl, but I'll honestly be happy with whatever we end up with, so long as the baby is healthy.
Needless to say, I'll be taking it easy with work over the next several months. We've been under some pressure to record another album ASAP, but I'm not going to do anything to risk this pregnancy. I don't want anything to go wrong if it does, it will be my fault again I guess our fans are just going to have to wait awhile for new material.
Private to BradHey... I love you, you know. /Private
|
|
|
| Wednesday May 25th; 4pm EST (Atlanta) |
[Wednesday
May 25th, 2011 at 6:23pm] |
private; readable by bradI'm not pregnant. How is it possible that we could do this on accident twice, but when we're actually trying to knock me up, it takes forever? It's like the universe is conspiring against us, I swear. /private
Evan seems to be in a clingy stage. He hugs me constantly and tells me he loves me. Not that I hate it. It's kind of nice, actually. It makes me feel guilty for all the time I I was thinking with school almost out for the summer and me not having to tour for once that we might take a trip to Disneyland. Or Disneyworld. Or even that new Harry Potter thing. Assuming my husband agrees, of course.
|
|
|
| Saturday February 26; 10am EST |
[Saturday
February 26th, 2011 at 10:12am] |
Private; Readable by close friends/Brad.I still think about him. Her. I don't even know what it would have been, but I think about the baby I we lost. It still hurts I didn't even know I killed it. This was my fault.
It seems silly to be mourning the loss of a child I didn't even know I was carrying for so long, but I can't help wondering what he/she would have been like. /Private.
I have been spending more time in the studio lately, but I still seem to be struggling to come up with new material. Maybe it's a sign I'm getting too old for this stuff. I'm getting close to 30, after all. I don't know. I miss touring. I miss being on stage I wish I could find my inspiration again.
At least the studio is going well. Business is good.
|
|
|
| friday november 19; 2pm est |
[Saturday
November 20th, 2010 at 12:33am] |
private to herself.I went by the studio today. It's weird. That place used to be a second home to me, an escape, but I felt so out of place. Like it's not the same or maybe I'm not. I haven't written a song since the accident. I've barely touched my guitar. I just don't know how to get it back. /private
Do you ever wish you could get out of your own head?
private to brad.Do you ever think about her.. him? Wonder what he would have looked like? Think about how we'd be almost ready to
Do you ever want to try again?
I was thinking maybe we could get a sitter and go out tonight. What do you think?
/private
|
|
|
| wednesday november 17; 11am est |
[Wednesday
November 17th, 2010 at 11:42am] |
private to herself4 months. 21 weeks. 148 days.
I should be over it by now. I shouldn't still be dwelling on.
I would have been showing by now. We would have been putting together a nursery. Would it have been a boy or a girl?
I have to stop thinking about this. I know I do. I just don't know how. /private
private to bradleyI think I might go for a walk. Do you want to come along? /private
Tomorrow. I'll go in to the studio tomorrow
I think I want tacos for lunch.
|
|
|
| Wednesday March 3; 7:32am EST (Atlanta) |
[Wednesday
March 3rd, 2010 at 9:27pm] |
[Private]I feel.. I can't describe it. Aidan and I are trying to work things out and I guess that's going alright, but there's this huge empty thing. I know I should talk to him, I should tell him how I feel, but how can I when I can't even explain it to myself?
I keep thinking about her. Or him. What they would have looked like, what we might have named him or her. I almost want to It's ridiculous to grieve for a baby I didn't even know I was carrying, isn't it? I just wish I could forget. [/Private]
I think I must be catching that bug that has been going around everywhere. I'm going to stay home today. Jacob, you can handle things without me today, can't you? I don't want to get out of bed
|
|
|
| Monday February 1; 1:05am PST (LA) |
[Monday
February 1st, 2010 at 4:29pm] |
[Private]
There's nothing quite like the thrill of being on stage to make you forget your husband can be a complete asshole. I don't know what to do about Aidan. I really don't. Granted, I should have told him about the tour. I meant to. I'm not really sure how it slipped my mind, but he got so angry and I get that me being away for Valentine's Day sucks, but I love this. I love being on stage. I would have asked him to come with me - things have been so good lately until this - but after the way he screamed at me, I didn't even want to be in the same room with him.
He knew who I was. He knew how much this was a part of me when we got married. I don't understand why it's become such an issue suddenly.
[/Private]
[Private to Jacob]
I miss you, baby brother. How is the studio?
[/Private]
[Private to Aidan]
I miss you How are I had lunch at that little cafe in Santa Monica today, that one we went to that one time. I miss when we were happy It made me think of you.
[/Private]
|
|
|